Somehow, Eshana managed to slap both Auru and Billy up the sides of their heads with her staff at the same time.
Things were off to a rocky start.
Auru rubbed the growing lump on the back of his skull and glanced away, sheepishly. “But…but I defeated Strong Elk!” he protested.
Eshana gave Auru a hard look. “And where is the meat to show for it? Hmmm?”
Billy had no wise words to offer his hunky caveman. Auru huffed and held out the carved fang for Eshana to see. “I…got our hunting grounds back!” he said. He grinned. Billy and Eshana did not match his enthusiasm.
The crone furrowed her wrinkly brow in reply. “Our?” she said. “You were never formally accepted into this tribe, Auru. In fact, I was quite clear about my instructions.”
The hurt in Auru’s eyes was unmistakable. Billy reached out and pressed his fingers to the big man’s shoulder in consolation. Auru’s gambit had failed, and he sunk into himself in shame.
Eshana waddled to the other side of the fire pit to regard the two, silent stone icons sitting on the bench. “Now I must consult the gods to help guide my decision.”
A lump in Billy’s throat joined the one on his head. “Uh… decision?” he asked, nervously.
“On whether or not to cast you two out of our clan,” Eshana said. She tightened her grip around her cane. “FOREVER.”
Billy and Auru both flinched, but it was Auru who sighed heaviest. Billy couldn’t imagine how he felt now, having come so close to finding a tribe, only to loose them all over again due to a misguided attempt at trying to fit in.
“Eldress,” Billy said, cautiously, “if I may speak. I take full responsibility for what happened.”
“No, Billy.” Auru placed himself between Billy, the fire pit, and Eshana’s withering stare. “Auru was the one who led you to the forbidden hunting grounds. I am solely blame.” He took a deep breath. “Which is why I must plead with you, Eldress. Even if you cast me out, please permit Billy to stay with the Elk Clan.”
It was a selfless, albeit stupid, move. Billy shook his head. “Auru, no.”
For a split second, it looked like Eshana might consider it. She tapped her cane against her chin, in deep thought. “You defend your friend with honor, Auru. Nevertheless…”
Auru backed off, arms slinked forward in defeat.
Billy needed a ‘Hail Mary’. Now. “Eldress, I know I have no right to ask you a question—”
The old woman sighed dispassionately, leaning against her cane and suddenly reminding Billy very much of his own grandmother (and weirdly…his ex-boyfriend too). “But something tells me you’ll push through just fine anyway. Well, out with it, boy.”
Billy looked to Auru for strength and began. “When I entered the village, I didn’t see many guys around the same age as Auru and myself. Aside from Keedo, that is. Children, yes. Women? Plenty. Do you divide your work between male and female?”
With a twist of her mouth, Eshana thought, and then nodded. “Our roles are not as rigid as you may think. There are some men better suited to weaving, and gathering berries, and women who can outrun deer faster than even our best hunter. There are also those who ascribe to neither man, nor woman, and I teach them in the way of gods.
"But on that day…yes, it was mostly the men who were out on the hunt.”
Billy figured he was right on the money. But it gave him no joy. “You and Strong Elk have both mentioned some kind of ‘great sorrow’ or tragedy.”
The deep lines on Eshana’s face rose and fell. Her eyes trembled, and for a moment, she seemed to Billy, younger. “You are not as dim as those muscles of yours would lead one to believe…”
“Uh, thanks?” Billy said, with a shrug. “What happened on that day, Eldress?”
The Eldress gripped her staff tighter. Billy could almost hear the wood brace. She spoke in a low whisper. “Thunder-That-Walks.”
Either Eros’s translation magic was faulty, or something was amiss here. “I’m…sorry?” he asked, turning to Auru for confirmation. The buff hunter shook his head, just as perplexed as Billy.
Eshana explained. “Thunder-That-Walks. A bull mammoth, possibly mad, who has troubled the valley for some time. The beast typically dwells in a dark valley over the northern hills, but its presence in our territory has been more frequent.” The woman paused. “Perhaps you’ve heard the creature yourself? Keedo says the beast came quite close to our village last night.”
The eerie rumbling and low bellows that had sunk deep into Billy’s bones, both during Strong Elk’s stand and the night before, returned to haunt the wayward historian. “Yes, Auru and I heard it.”
Auru finally rose back to attention. “Must be big.”
“Oh yes,” Eshana said, hollowly. “A joint hunting expedition between the Elk and Bull clans set out to slay the beast. Only Keedo and one or two of Elk’s men returned. Our clan lost many sons that day. But Strong Elk lost his only one.”
The compassion this woman had for Strong Elk, despite his callousness towards her own people, was obvious. Billy’s heart hurt for her. For her clan. And, strangest of all, for Strong Elk.
But it was Auru who appeared the most struck by this revelation. “Strong Elk had a son?” he asked.
Eshana nodded. “And many lovely, smiling daughters.” Finally, a slight smile broke across her wrinkled face. “Oh, how I miss those children.”
“So, your clans were close at one point,” Billy said.
Auru let out a small grunt. “Strong Elk,” he said. “He has a big sadness.”
“Nigh insurmountable,” Eshana said. “He has not been the same since that dreadful day. Keedo himself barely managed to survive, and I fear his leg will never properly mend. And thus, our population dwindles.”
Eshana’s tone changed with the flash of her eyes, towards anger. She pointed her stick, threatening, at Auru. “Which is why the Bull Clan must abide by my rules! We cannot afford more danger. More death. You could have brought catastrophe upon us, Auru.”
Billy felt terrible for his friend, but there wasn’t much to be done. Auru held out his palms. “Eldress. I am sorry.”
The old woman frowned. She was not in a forgiving mood. “Yes, yes, I can see it in your eyes. It changes little. Nevertheless, I am not a woman of impulse. Now, Auru. Heed me.”
“Yes, Eldress?”
“I would speak to Billy alone.” She pointed her cane towards the entrance to her hut. “You may return to Keedo’s dwelling to await further instruction.”
Auru looked at Billy, uncertain. “Billy…”
“I’ll be fine.” It was a lie, of course. Billy hadn’t felt less fine since his breakup, Still, he assured Auru with a smile and watched as the big man sulked his way out of the hut.
Now, Billy was alone with the most powerful woman in Prehistory. The crone shuffled around the fire, towards a collection of clay pots near the altar.
“I must consult the divine,” Eshana said. She kneeled down, using the stick for balance. Billy moved to help her, but she held a firm hand and managed to pick one of the pots off the ground. “Your role as a storyteller marks you as an interpreter of the voices of the gods.”
“Uh…does it?”
“Though you are no god yourself, I can see that you have communicated with the divinities before. I knew it when I saw that necklace. Even now, it radiates power.” The woman stared coldly into his spirit. “Who are you, Billy?”
Granted he was literally in a loincloth, a baseball cap, and sneakers, but Billy hadn’t felt this naked in a long time. He answered her honestly. “Just an idiot in over his head.”
“Ah,” she said. “Aren’t we all?” The oracle approached the idols in front of the altar, bowed her head to them, and lifted the clay cup to her lips.
Billy found himself nervous. “Um…what’s that you’re drinking, Eldress?”
Whatever it was, Eshana was not enjoying the taste, judging from her pained expression. She sat the cup down on the altar. “It allows my eyes and ears to open to the Great Mother and Bull Father.”
“Ohhhhh, it’s drugs.” Billy winced remembering his club days, and his briefly lived period of psychedelic experimentation (one did not go to college in Western Massachusetts without partaking at least once).
The old woman coughed once and lowered herself to the ground. The smoke and the heat from the fire pit twisted, blurred, and distorted her swarthy face. “Be forewarned,” she said, hoarsely. “The gods may choose to use me as their vessel. If that happens…” she trailed off, her eyes distant. Then, her pupils dilated.
For a moment, Billy feared she had poisoned herself, or suffered a stroke. “Eldress?” he said. He coughed. The smoke inside the chamber bothered his throat (or maybe that was an after effect from swallowing Auru’s cock the day before).
The old woman’s head drooped. Unresponsive.
Billy could taste his heart in the back of his throat (or nope, that was still Auru). He tried again. “H-he-hey, Eldress, are you okay?”
Then, the woman’s head snapped up. “SURPIIIIIIRISE, BITCH!”
The jump scare practically knocked Billy backwards. He was not certain he had heard her correctly, nor was he certain the Eldress hadn’t slyly slipped him some of her funky juice either. “Um…Eshana? You okay, girl?”
Without need for the cane, the crone jumped onto her feet, placed her hands on her hips, and cracked her back—letting out a satisfied ‘ahh.’ Her body language, her facial expression, and her overall aura took on a decidedly more ‘sassy’ flavor.
“Oooh,” she said, in a voice that was not quite her voice, “and I got a hot one this time too.” With a flick of the wrist and an unmistakably flirtatious, sideways glance, Eshana traipsed around the fire pit. “So, how’s life? How’s the cave stud? Ha! I see you walkin’ kinda funny, Billy boy. You little slut—good for you!”
It hit him. Billy wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or more afraid, now. “Eros?”
“Ha!” Eshana, or Eros, flitted her hand. “Of course, it’s me, you dirty bitch.” The god inside the woman turned and examined the stone idols with amused interest. “Hahaha holy shit, they really had some funny notions about what we looked like back in this time." The god inside the woman looked at the curvy idol. "Wow, Mom would get a kick out of this if she saw it.”
Which Billy found especially comical as the curvaceous, fertility statues from this epoch were often, erroneously called ‘Venuses’. This was the moment of levity Billy didn’t realize he’d needed after the last, stressful twenty-four hours. To Billy, Eros might as well have been an alien, let alone a god, but he was still his only link to the future, and that was somewhat comforting.
“Eros, shit’s fucked.” He offered the flighty god a shit-eating-grin. “Is it too late to call of the game? Hahaha. You know, I learned my lesson!”
Eros, or Eshana, rather, showed off all her cracked, yellow teeth in a grin. “Nope! But hey, if you want a little positive reinforcement, I’ve been keeping tabs on your activity here. I’m actually surprised you’re still alive, quite frankly!”
That wasn’t exactly encouraging, Billy thought. “Eros, what the hell am I even supposed to be doing here to satisfy your mission criteria? I mean, I already made love to Auru-“
“-Did he breed you?”
“Yeah, tremendously. Like I now know what a French pastry feels like.”
“Awesome!”
“But then he suggested he wanted to make it a more 'permanent arrangement', and I had to let him down gently…
“Ohhhh…”
“But he took it well! Never thought I’d muster the guts to let a guy off so decisively before. Hehehe.”
“Mmm. Progress!
“I thought maybe Auru and Strong Elk might start some sparks after they…you know…fucked. But Strong Elk is too depressed.” Billy froze. A light bulb (or campfire) went off inside his head. “Hold on a second. Is my sexy mission objective to get Auru and Strong Elk together?” Of course, that had to be it!
Esheros, as Billy decided to call them, smirked, and leaned against their ceremonial staff. “Sounds like your definition of love is quite…small. I picked all of your temporal paramours for a good reason, and I can tell you that Auru does not need a partner right now.”
Then what the fuck am I doing here, dude? Billy hoped Eros couldn’t read thoughts.
Esheros threw Billy another ‘bone’. “What do you think is Auru’s most fervent wish? What does his heart want?”
This was like the most frustrating trivia night ever. But seeing as most of Billy’s trivia nights usually ended up with him in just skimpy underwear, it was also par for the course. Billy scratched his head. “He needs…”
And, with a snap of the fingers, Billy got there.
“A clan!”
“By Jove, he’s got it,” Esheros said. “I’ll spell it out for you, honey. Community.”
A community that had just exiled Auru. Billy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Well, we already fucked that up.”
“Auru fucked that up,” Esheros pointed out. “And he took responsibility for it. I never said that your temporal boy-toys were going to be flawless princes. But at least they can fess up their flaws. You could learn a lesson or two, punk.”
“Okay, fine, morals! But now what the hell am I supposed to do?” Billy raised an eyebrow. “Or is this one of those impossible tasks, like the golden fleece?”
“What kind of god do you take me for, bitch? Listen, Billy. Eshana was always going to give you guys one more chance to set things right, with or without my influence. Hear the old diva out, okay?” With that said, the wily god drew a line in the dirt floor. “Oh, before I go…a warning.”
“NOW A WARNING?”
“Every help must come with a hindrance,” Esheros said, with a slightly sinister laugh. “You see, time and space is a surprisingly mutable thing. But, just like white blood cells attack intrusive viruses—I hope you don’t mind me borrowing the biology metaphor—so too does time have ways of dealing with uninvited guests.”
With a groan, Billy pointed at his broad chest. “Am I the guest?”
The old woman / god licked their lips. Which was unsettling enough, let alone their dark warning. “I’m talking paradoxes and anomalies, Billy-blue. Things you won’t find in the history books because they don’t technically exist. They’re the price you pay for not screwing up the course of events.” Esheros stared at Billy, whose face had become a blank. “Ugh, I’m talking about monsters. I’m sending monsters at you, Billy.”
“WHAT?”
Eshana’s eyes suddenly spiraled into the back of her head, and she let out a throaty scream. “FAAAAHHHHHH!”
So did Billy. “AHHHH!”
The old woman stumbled forward, but righted herself on her walking stick before she could fall into the fire. She panted, every breath drawn out and intense, but still she motioned for Billy to stay put.
When at last Eshana, slick with perspiration, had collected herself, she gave Billy a grave expression. “The gods speak through me!”
“Y-y-yes! I’m aware.” Monsters? Is he fuckin’ serious?
“I will permit you and Auru to journey to the Bull Clan,” Eshana said. “If Auru has indeed tamed Strong Elk, and the chieftain’s token is indeed one of friendship, then I implore you go and ask for his aid.”
This was a hard pivot, and not at all what Billy was expecting. It didn’t help that he was still stuck on the ‘monsters’ bit. “And…why would we do that, Eldress?”
“Because if you and Auru are to be accepted into this clan, you will need to do far more than bring us fresh meat. You will need to hunt down and kill Thunder-That-Walks.”
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